Different types of grief that make grieving complicated

Overall in society today, we seem to find it difficult to deal with and speak about grief. Because of our awkwardness in dealing with grief, we tend to shy away from it, which can make it even more complicated.

From losing a loved one, to going through a major life change, grief can present itself in different kind of ways. Understanding the different types of grief can help us to better navigate our emotions and find the support we need to move forward. So, let's dive into some of the most well-known types of grief and what they mean.

Anticipatory grief

This kind of grief occurs before a loss has even happened. It often happens when someone is diagnosed with a serious illness or is nearing the end of their life (Conrad, 2022). It can be tough to deal with because all the emotions and thoughts of grief start happening before the actual loss occurs. Anticipatory grief can be a healthy response as it gives us the chance to gradually accept what's happening and prepare ourselves for the inevitable. It doesn't mean we won't feel the full impact of grief when the time comes, but it can help us cope a bit better.

Cumulative grief

Cumulative grief is a type of grief that occurs when a person experiences multiple losses over a short period of time. This can be overwhelming and challenging, as each loss adds to the previous one and can intensify one’s grief (Gupta, 2022).

Examples of situations that can lead to cumulative grief include experiencing multiple deaths in a short period of time, the loss of a job, a relationship, or a home, or a combination of all of the above that can lead to ongoing grief and emotional distress.

Cumulative grief can especially be difficult to cope with because it can feel like there is no time to process one loss before another occurs. This can lead to feelings of helplessness, hopelessness, and exhaustion. It can also make it difficult to find support and comfort, as others may not fully understand the depth and complexity of a person’s grief.

Delayed grief

As the title suggests, this type of grief doesn’t hit immediately but occurs later on. This happens when a person experiences a significant loss, such as the death of a loved one, but does not fully process their grief (because they might be in shock or avoid it) until later on (Moberly, 2022). When people are avoiding to grieve, it makes them unable to process the loss (Burry, 2021). Once the grief does hit, it can be difficult to deal with, as the person may feel overwhelmed by intense emotions when they finally start to process their loss.

Inhibited grief

This term is used to describe a situation in which a person experiences a significant loss, such as the death of a loved one, but suppresses or denies their grief. Inhibited grief can be harmful if it prevents the person from fully processing their emotions and moving through the grieving process. It can lead to unresolved grief that manifests in the body, such as sleep deprivation and stomach issues (Moberly, 2022). If not expressed, inhibited grief can lead to long-term emotional distress. This is why a big part of grief counselling and grief coaching is focused on getting people to acknowledge and express their grief (in whatever way works for them).

Disenfranchised grief

This type of grief is not always acknowledged by society. It occurs when a person experiences a significant loss that is not recognised or validated by society, or when their grief is not considered appropriate or legitimate (Gillette, 2022). For example the loss of a pet, a miscarriage, or the end of a non-traditional relationship (Burry, 2021).

Disenfranchised grief can be particularly challenging, because the individual might feel isolated or unsupported in their grief, which can lead to feelings of shame, guilt, and loneliness. They can also feel pressure to suppress their grief or keep it hidden from others, which can make it difficult to find comfort and support.

Complicated grief

Complicated grief, also known as chronic or prolonged grief, is a type of grief that is more intense and prolonged than the “normal” (as far as there is a normal) grieving process. It is characterised by intense, persistent feelings of sadness and longing for the deceased, as well as having difficulty accepting the loss and moving forward with life (Ohwovoriole, 2021).

There are several factors that can contribute to the development of complicated grief. These include a close or dependent relationship with the deceased, the loss being sudden or unexpected, a history of trauma or other mental health conditions in the person who is grieving, and a lack of social support (Shear, 2012).

Collective grief

This type of grief occurs when a community or society experiences a shared loss, such as a natural disaster or a pandemic (Moberly, 2022). It can be a difficult and overwhelming experience to process, but it can also bring people together to support one another.

In some cases, collective grief can lead to a sense of solidarity and unity among those who have been affected, as they come together to support one another and work towards building a future together. However, it can also lead to feelings of anger, fear, and disillusionment, particularly if the tragedy was preventable or if there is a lack of accountability or support from those in power.

Conclusion

As you might have experienced yourself, grief is a painful, uncomfortable and personal experience that can be quite isolating. Although the approach to coping with different types of grief can vary, the following can be helpful to keep in mind:

• Be kind to yourself and those around you, and remember that it's okay to seek help and support if you need it.

• If you or someone you know is struggling with grief, there are resources and tools available to provide support and guidance.

If you are tired of feeling alone and stuck in your grief journey, contact me for help.

Sources

Burry, M. The 5 Types of Grief: What They Are and What They Feel Like, According to Experts. Health. 2021.

Conrad, M. What Is Anticipatory Grief And How Does It Work? Forbes. 2022.

Gillette, H. 9 Different types of grief. PsychCentral. 2022.

Gupta, S. What is compounded grief? Verywell Mind. 2022.

Moberly, N. 12 types of grief you may not know about. BetterUp. 2022.

Ohwovoriole, What is complicated grief? Verywell Mind. 2021.

Shear MK. Grief and mourning gone awry: pathway and course of complicated grief. Dialogues Clin Neurosci. 2012 Jun;14(2):119-28. doi: 10.31887/DCNS.2012.14.2/mshear. PMID: 22754284; PMCID: PMC3384440.